Four Months

Four months since I drove away from Fort Hood and realized I was not actually ready to do so and had a bit of a panic attack that lasted until the next morning. It had been a weird last day with Kyle, starting with getting up, getting ready, packing up the rest of Kyle's things and cleaning up the motel room. Kyle helped a friend move and came back with a giant old box TV in the back seat of the car, which we were unsuccessful at taking to a shop so donated it (left it) to the motel room (this all annoyed me because it was heavy and awkward to get into/out of the car multiple times and sometimes husband shouldn't bring home things just because they are free and I didn't want to be annoyed figuring out what to do with this stupid TV our last hours together). After meeting up on base we had a lot of time to kill but nowhere to go. I think we went to the pet store, drove around, and sat at Sonic for some hours. Then back on base Army folk and families were standing around, smoking around babies, getting their guns and chatting. Some formations and goodbyes and around 4 pm I think I started my drive back to Pennsylvania. It honestly didn't hit until I was in the car starting to drive away without him. It felt so wrong; I should be turning around to go with him or something. That was probably the worst I've felt all of deployment, so far.

No idea when he'll be getting back, if he will get two weeks R&R, or any of those important dates I would really like to know, so my countdown is open-ended at this point. Maybe it's more like a countup. But anyway, I can't wait for him to come home.

Mraz performed this on Saturday; it seems kind of relevant. (song starts around 3:00 or 4:00 or 5:00 depending)

- From the desk of Mrs. M