2nd Anniversary

For our anniversary we did our usual meal at IHOP :). We were in class and at work all day, and we're generally not big celebrators, so it was low key. I guess it fits, considering our wedding day involved a court house, IHOP, waiting in lines at Army all day, and a night sharing a twin in the barracks. Oh, and we watched Away We Go; it's our special movie. Maybe we will watch it this weekend; and I think we're taking a trip out to the Salt Lick to try something new and spend some time together before I head to Boston on Sunday.

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Two Years Ago

I married a good man.

- Mrs. M

June Fifteenth: What it Means to Me

Wedding planning can be stressful, and the stress can make you doubt and wonder what you think you're doing.

But then I get another RSVP in the mail with "happily yes" circled. I get a sweet note of excitement from a guest, a friend I haven't seen in too long. I get messages from a dear friend taking a long long bus ride in from Boston, asking me about times and locations around town. I wake up to a facebook notification that my friend who I haven't seen for five years is making the trip out from Australia. And then again, with a friend from Germany. Family that I haven't seen in years is coming down from Canada. I get a sweet package in the mail with a note from one of my bridesmaids. And these sorts of things keep happening again and again. 

People are so excited about this. 

To me, a marriage is about more than the wedding. It's about more than just the day that it becomes official, more than the day you spend celebrating it with others. The logistics of the day and the technicalities of the celebration- they are not what a marriage is about, and they should be whatever you want them to be. Whether you wear a white dress or ivory, cut a cake or a pie, walk down an aisle or dance down it, get together in a backyard or a ballroom, or do none of these things at all.  March 7th will always be our anniversary, the day we got married. June 15th is the day we get to celebrate it, with our people around us. It's not so serious. It's just fun. It's a party. I get to wear a pretty dress and stand next to my husband wearing a dashing tux. We get to eat cake and tasty food, dance, drink, get our pictures taken finally and listen to songs like Bootylicious and Beyond the Sea, maybe even played back to back (who knows! it's crazy!)! It's stressful because you want to make sure a big group of people are well fed and entertained for several hours, yes, but the meaning behind it is the simplest thing. 

I am uncomfortable celebrating me, even me as a part of a duo. It took a long time to get to the point where I realized and stood my ground that this celebration was for us and about us, Kyle and I. While I know and love that this party is about us, it helps me work through my discomfort, that I can still try to make it the best party for all of you as well. For those that have supported us, supported this wedding, sent us positivity and encouragement, helped me in the planning process. However it comes together in the next month, I know that I've been doing it right, because you will be there. And we'll be celebrating. There's no wrong way to do that. 

S.

Our First Anniversary

Our first year together was 366 days long, one day more than you would usually expect to get. 

A year ago today, it was a Monday and we got married. I don't have any pictures to share with you from that day, and the story of what happened on 3.7.2011 isn't really super interesting (went to courthouse, filled out some papers, got married, immediately afterwards went to eat at IHOP because we were really hungry, waited in lines to do Army paperwork, went to a motorcycle store I think, had dinner at El Chico, and watched Away We Go with some champagne in the barracks). The day itself wasn't too unusual for most, and for me, getting married is about much more than one simple and spectacular day. It is about every day after that too, for the rest of ever, if you're lucky and work hard. It is about the never ending adventure that you're just getting into and going to live day after day, year after year. Every day being married to Kyle has been wonderful, comforting, and new. I mean, there were horrible days, he did spend nearly seven months in Iraq, but being married through deployment made it somehow better and bearable. I don't mind that our wedding celebration is a year, three months and eight days after we got married; I'm glad to have a day to celebrate with family and friends.

Another special day.

Most of our days are simple. Early to bed, early to rise. He comes home and smiles really big at the meals I make him. He is grumpy from work but cheers up quickly.
Every (week) day.

Our first anniversary was a simple day. Early to rise, early to work. Rainy. My usual morning routine, and shopping for a microwave since ours went kaput a couple days ago. I baked him brownies, which he loves even though he dislikes chocolate (don't ask me how that works). I wait and he comes home. He tells me about trying to find me a pearl bracelet, but he doesn't like any of the clasps. He pulls out Settlers of Catan instead, and I am really excited but we realize we'll need some friends. We go to IHOP for dinner, because that's our tradition we decided. We are too full to eat any brownies.

Another lovely married day.
366 days later.
With many more days to come.
.......

I guess the point is that I'm glad I got an extra day this year to be married to my husband.

Oh, and an upside to having a wedding day like we did: you can wear the same outfit on your anniversary without looking like a crazy person shopping for a microwave in a wedding gown. 

On Being Married People

Things Married People Do (Based on my own experience):

Go to bed somewhere in the 9:00 pm hour. Sometimes even before 9. Definitely asleep by 10. Somehow we made it to midnight on New Year's.

Shop for things like refrigerators and kitchen tables.

Buy things like refrigerators (still looking for a table).

Watch Gilmore Girls at 10am on abc Family.

Randomly decide to take shots some evenings.

Cook tasty food together and for each other.

Get really good at saying "Yes, Dear." (at least Kyle has)

Watch marathons of New York Ink or the Twilight Zone for an afternoon.

Plan trips to take on your new motorcycle once you can drive it.

Play Words with Friends (husband inevitably beats me by approximately 300 points every time).

Make fun of each other for being either an old man or a snotty gross sick lady.

Both be on your computers while sitting next to each other, and occasionally send each other chats.

Eat breakfast.

Own so many books.

Occasionally talk about how cute and awesome your future children will be.

Every once in a while you come up with things to add to your vows, for example "to not let the other person die."

Doing laundry together at the laundromat.

Do things like opening a joint bank account.

Have ingredients in the house like: mint, balsamic vinegar, and lemons.

Hang out with other married people.

There's always two of everything...

It's all very dorky and wonderful. I love it.

- From the desk of Mrs. M

image

We Got Married on a Monday in March

 Since there are no pictures, I recreated it with origami cranes...

Monday March 7.

That was a pretty awesome day. 

Eight months ago. 

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Dear Husband

We have been married for six months! I hate that we are so far away, and I miss you every day, but there is nobody more worth missing. Thank you for marrying me six months ago in a little courthouse in Texas; it is very comforting being your wife through all of this.

Love,
Wife

Why I Love My Husband

You know when you're really in love and you get that gushy feeling where you want to just tell the world about how great it is? I've been having that feeling a lot lately, and as much as I don't want to sound like a love-sick lady, I am really fond of my husband and I don't care who knows it!

My boys

The thing about Kyle is that probably everyone reading this, at least everyone who knows him, probably doesn't need me to tell them how awesome he is. He's easy to like and fun to be around. There are a couple things that really drew me to him to begin with, way back in high school, aside from his noteworthy hugs and being super cute. He is a really good person to talk to; he listens and responds thoughtfully. What made him particularly stand out was that he was really the first friend I had to challenge me, just by being himself. He just knew things and was so smart and confident that I felt that I had to, and wanted to step up my game to be on the same level as him. Not in a -I need to change and be better to be friends with him- way, but in a - wow, it's fun having intense intellectual conversations with a friend and not just being silly all the time - kinda way. Don't get me wrong, Kyle can be very silly. I just never had met anyone like him before and what I remember most from first knowing him are those inspiring, exciting feelings of admiration. He introduced a new kind of friendship. Never ever would I have thought back then that we'd end up married and where we are now (though I think I would have been quite ok with that outlook).

Kyle is creative, kind, adventurous, and full of life. He is a philosopher, outdoorsman, and not good at basketball. His handwriting is odd and recognizable, he looks good in hats, and sometimes he sports a mustache. I think he is true to himself. He has the best and most genuine laugh, expressive eyebrows, and sometimes is a pale pale ghost (but not so much anymore). He'll tell you when you've said something stupid, and admire you for your intelligence. He is resourceful, funny, very handsome, and introduced me to the Penguins (thank you!). He is a very good teacher, boyfriend, husband, and best friend. He has made me very mad a few times, sad a few more times, and happy all the time. He is going to make us an awesome porch (complete with fire pit and strands of lights) and make sure we go hiking as often as possible, cook together, and raise some extremely bright and quirky children.

Kyle makes me a better myself than I would be without him, he always has since tenth grade. He still does and I can't imagine a time when he won't. He is supportive in the best possible way- positive, accepting, realistic, not afraid to give compliments and constructive criticism. He cheers me up and calms me down. There are several books and articles I wouldn't have read, things I wouldn't have ever thought about, random facts I wouldn't have known and forgot, adventures I wouldn't have been on, and confidence I wouldn't have if it weren't for him. I am so proud of him and so excited for our future together!

Well, of course those aren't all the reasons, but I suppose I should save some lovey-dovey ramblings for our vow renewals next year, huh?

- From the desk of the very happy to be Mrs. Sarah McPherson

"Do you think you could marry me someday?"

That is how Kyle proposed. I realized I've never really shared the story with the general population. It's not a long, winding story, but a short and sweet one.

Kyle and I had been talking about getting married for a while, and before he left for the Army he had told me that if I still liked him when he was done training at the end of the year, he would give me a ring. So come last December I was kind of expecting it, but even so, I didn't believe it would actually happen until I heard the words come out of his mouth. I figured this is it! when he told me he was taking me to dinner at a mystery location he did not reveal to me, only telling me formal attire would be expected. We had a nice dinner at the Carnegie House, but no proposal. We then went back to his house and watched the rest of the Penguins game. No proposal. Then back to my house where we just hung out watching mindless TV until one in the morning. We were watching one of those TLC cake shows; I knew Kyle was nervous and putting off something- he is not one to sit through such television programming. I was getting frustrated because he was letting us watch cake shows late into the night when neither of us wanted to; he was getting frustrated as well with himself for being so nervous (which was pretty cute looking back). But out of the frustration and nerves, finally around 1:30 in the morning he said "Can I ask you a question?" And so it happened.

- From the desk of Mrs. Sarah McPherson

Why Get Married?

The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder "if only."

Okay, so it's a quote from the last Castle episode that Kyle and I watched, but it seemed like a good starting point for this post. Why did Kyle and I get married? Why did we get married when we did? Why would anyone get married ever? All questions probably a lot of people have asked though the words that actually came out and reached my facebook wall were all versions of "Congratulations!" More polite and less invasive a response I suppose, but weren't you wondering?

- Love: is the obvious reason. It has to be about more than love, no surprise there. Not every couple in love ever gets married; some people in love probably shouldn't get married. Kyle and I loved each other for years and we only got married two months ago.
- Timing: is another thing. From an outside perspective it might seem like timing was never right for Kyle and I, not just for getting married but for having a relationship at all (remember, that not living in the same place broken record bit). We talked about marriage for a while before Kyle left for basic training, but we thought it would be wise to see how we both would handle the addition of the Army to our lives. Kyle actually said that if I still liked him when he was done (in December), he'd give me a ring. No problem, I thought. And that's what happened. Me finishing college and him having some months of experience in the Army seems like a good time for it.
- Compatibility. Kyle and I have a lot in common and a lot of differences; we compliment each other really well. I'll make sure that bills always get paid on time and he'll make sure we always have fun. He'll calm me down and I'll wake him up in the morning.
- Able to face challenges together: We've definitely done that. It's good to have practice dealing with rocky situations so you know you can handle it in your married future, as challenges will inevitably occur. They already have!
- Want the same things
- Children! We want three. I don't really want to be having babies much past 30, and we want to have some time before to just be married sans children.
- Make each other better; challenge each other
- Do not have unrealistic expectations from one another but keep each other in high regard. It's really just about knowing the other person really well.
- Honesty
- Security
- Ability to commit
- Best Friends: Everyone tells me that starting out as best friends is the way to go. Not that we planned it that way, but it has been a nice and natural transition. We knew each other quite well before starting to date, so that gave us a good base from which to grow.
- Similar Interests: I'm reminded of when a friend caught us both humming the Jurassic Park theme song at the same time and said something along the lines of "Wow. I get it now."
- Desire to take care of and support each other
- Couldn't see a happy and fulfilling future where we're not together
- We wanted to
- The Master Mind Effect: This article came out after we got married, but it puts into words a lot of good reasons that when I read I thought, yeah, exactly. I think asking any less of a marriage is cutting yourself and your relationship short.

I don't imagine that any of this has been particularly surprising.

We got married pretty quickly in Texas after a very very stressful month or so of trying to figure out how/when it would actually happen. After learning in December that Kyle would be deployed in May we decided to still get married before he left, and do the party after.  I believe that when you agree to getting engaged you should be able to agree to getting married the next day, so I don't think a long engagement is necessary. We wanted to get married before he left, whenever it would be, so that I would count and be recognized as an actual person, to improve/ensure communication while he is deployed, and so we could start getting married benefits from the Army. This wedding just wouldn't be your typical wedding, but little about our relationship was typical anyway. Then there were issues with his family not wanting us to do another ceremony later, that only came up weeks before getting married when this had been the plan for months, and then we thought there was a possibility of getting married in Pittsburgh or State College, but ultimately it would only really work doing it in Texas over my spring break. We had to do it then so that we would have time to do all the necessary Army and government paperwork, and there was no guarantee Kyle would get any time to leave Fort Hood for a wedding elsewhere at a later date. Family wanted to be there but it wasn't really possible. So it was me, Kyle, and Mr. Garland Potvin of Bell County in a little court room on Monday March 7. We went to Ihop for brunch afterwards, waited in lobbies and did paperwork all day, had Mexican food for dinner, then watched Away We Go back in the barracks. Classy. Like these moose. (Because there are exactly zero pictures from our wedding day)

- From the desk of Mrs. Sarah McPherson

Dating with Distance

This coming Saturday April 16 marks three years that Kyle and I have been together. While Kyle mostly ruined this occasion for me last year, it is still a milestone worthy of note, so I suppose I should reflect on and ramble about it. 

Over the years I have received many comments and compliments on Kyle's and my largely long (sometimes shorter, sometimes average, about to get really long) distance relationship. People at work would always have stories of woe and stupidity to share regarding their significant others, and for a while I had nothing to contribute to the conversations except a sympathetic frown and maybe a hug. People always tell me they couldn't do it themselves, and I too am impressed. Well, Kyle has made sure to provide me with some good fuel for conversation in the last couple years (ahem), but what's a relationship without its little additional challenges on top of that whole big, looming challenge of hardly ever being in the same place, right? 

The elusive "they" always say that "communication is key" when it comes to just about everything. Our relationship was born out of communication, as distance pretty much dictates, though we were not always great at it. We had a bit of an awkward summer together in State College after my return from Finland, but we soon became better friends than before. I remember that summer when he came over to chat the afternoon after I'd gotten my wisdom teeth out: not optimal talking time we realized not long into the mostly one-sided conversation, but he was there. Aside from this poorly planned parley, well before we started dating, Kyle and I would talk all the time. Starting out my first year at AU while he was going on his second at Pitt, he was the person I talked to more than anyone else. Kyle always seemed to want to talk to me, and I found myself always wanting to talk to him.  He was always there, always wanted to be there for me, even when "being there" meant waiting at the Greyhound bus stop in State College for my- what a surprise- late bus to arrive from DC, only to get to see me for a couple minutes before I was hurried home (not dating at this point). Or if it meant getting fake engaged (but facebook official) to my sister as some sort of roundabout attempt to try to make me jealous (still not dating, and it only worked a little bit, and I'm not sure it has anything to do with "being there," but I wanted to remind you all- remember when that happened? good times). Or even if it meant taking a three hour drive down to DC in the car with my Dad to surprise me while picking me up from school for the summer (OK- we were dating at this point! But only for like a month). Kyle has always been there, in person when he could, on the phone or gchat when he couldn't, and in my thoughts all the rest of the time. 

While communicating about rough topics and being completely open with our thoughts and feelings were not always our strong suits, it is something we've learned through experience, and it's why we've been able to make it through all that we have and end up married on the other side! I do not hesitate to make my feelings known, though I've learned that when I'm really upset, silence from me is more terrifying to Kyle than any amount of yelling or caps lock internet shouting. It's these little gems of knowledge you discover along the way that make for a rich and effective cornucopia of ways to communicate! :)

It's been over a year since Kyle made a surprise withdrawal from Pitt with the apparent intention of joining the military. After living in the same city for six months and for the first time in our relationship, I had just gotten used to the idea that maybe our days of long distance were over. It has been by far the hardest year. I have woken up with my eyes nearly swollen shut more mornings from crying the night before than I should admit (oops), but this kind of thing really shakes up your life, especially when you're left to deal with it all from a distance. Kyle is soon to be deployed; another rough year is soon to start. I feel we are pretty well prepared; I'm certain that if there's any couple that can handle a year apart, we're that couple. We're awesome! Oh, it is going to suck- don't get me wrong. But we've acquired and built up the tools we need to handle just about anything, and we've both gotten quite good at writing letters. 


Stay tuned for the sequel to this post, Married with Miles, up sometime in the next year! 

- From the desk of Mrs. Sarah McPherson

‎"They are so cute. They are that couple you know that are really nice people and never get in fights. I love them." --Christy