Why Get Married?

Posted on: Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder "if only."

Okay, so it's a quote from the last Castle episode that Kyle and I watched, but it seemed like a good starting point for this post. Why did Kyle and I get married? Why did we get married when we did? Why would anyone get married ever? All questions probably a lot of people have asked though the words that actually came out and reached my facebook wall were all versions of "Congratulations!" More polite and less invasive a response I suppose, but weren't you wondering?

- Love: is the obvious reason. It has to be about more than love, no surprise there. Not every couple in love ever gets married; some people in love probably shouldn't get married. Kyle and I loved each other for years and we only got married two months ago.
- Timing: is another thing. From an outside perspective it might seem like timing was never right for Kyle and I, not just for getting married but for having a relationship at all (remember, that not living in the same place broken record bit). We talked about marriage for a while before Kyle left for basic training, but we thought it would be wise to see how we both would handle the addition of the Army to our lives. Kyle actually said that if I still liked him when he was done (in December), he'd give me a ring. No problem, I thought. And that's what happened. Me finishing college and him having some months of experience in the Army seems like a good time for it.
- Compatibility. Kyle and I have a lot in common and a lot of differences; we compliment each other really well. I'll make sure that bills always get paid on time and he'll make sure we always have fun. He'll calm me down and I'll wake him up in the morning.
- Able to face challenges together: We've definitely done that. It's good to have practice dealing with rocky situations so you know you can handle it in your married future, as challenges will inevitably occur. They already have!
- Want the same things
- Children! We want three. I don't really want to be having babies much past 30, and we want to have some time before to just be married sans children.
- Make each other better; challenge each other
- Do not have unrealistic expectations from one another but keep each other in high regard. It's really just about knowing the other person really well.
- Honesty
- Security
- Ability to commit
- Best Friends: Everyone tells me that starting out as best friends is the way to go. Not that we planned it that way, but it has been a nice and natural transition. We knew each other quite well before starting to date, so that gave us a good base from which to grow.
- Similar Interests: I'm reminded of when a friend caught us both humming the Jurassic Park theme song at the same time and said something along the lines of "Wow. I get it now."
- Desire to take care of and support each other
- Couldn't see a happy and fulfilling future where we're not together
- We wanted to
- The Master Mind Effect: This article came out after we got married, but it puts into words a lot of good reasons that when I read I thought, yeah, exactly. I think asking any less of a marriage is cutting yourself and your relationship short.

I don't imagine that any of this has been particularly surprising.

We got married pretty quickly in Texas after a very very stressful month or so of trying to figure out how/when it would actually happen. After learning in December that Kyle would be deployed in May we decided to still get married before he left, and do the party after.  I believe that when you agree to getting engaged you should be able to agree to getting married the next day, so I don't think a long engagement is necessary. We wanted to get married before he left, whenever it would be, so that I would count and be recognized as an actual person, to improve/ensure communication while he is deployed, and so we could start getting married benefits from the Army. This wedding just wouldn't be your typical wedding, but little about our relationship was typical anyway. Then there were issues with his family not wanting us to do another ceremony later, that only came up weeks before getting married when this had been the plan for months, and then we thought there was a possibility of getting married in Pittsburgh or State College, but ultimately it would only really work doing it in Texas over my spring break. We had to do it then so that we would have time to do all the necessary Army and government paperwork, and there was no guarantee Kyle would get any time to leave Fort Hood for a wedding elsewhere at a later date. Family wanted to be there but it wasn't really possible. So it was me, Kyle, and Mr. Garland Potvin of Bell County in a little court room on Monday March 7. We went to Ihop for brunch afterwards, waited in lobbies and did paperwork all day, had Mexican food for dinner, then watched Away We Go back in the barracks. Classy. Like these moose. (Because there are exactly zero pictures from our wedding day)

- From the desk of Mrs. Sarah McPherson


  1. I totally agree with every word you said, including the "and"'s and "the"'s. And such a great story to describe to your future 3 children :-)

  2. Can the moose have some prominence at your reception? Now that we've seen this photo and your stationary?! P.S. - I SO totally want to help you/be a sounding board when you're planning things this upcoming year! Working at the country club for too many years has made me loooove wedding stuff. :)


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