My Last Semester of Grad School Starts Today

- S

Hair Down

This is what I look like with my hair down!

That's all! Have a nice week!

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Contemplating My Curly Hair

Last night for the first time I really started contemplating cutting my hair, something called the "big chop." When ladies who previously would relax and straighten their hair but have decided to go natural, cut off all the relaxed hair, so only the natural curly hair remains. Of course, this is a pretty momentous occasion, because your hair will be significantly shorter, and it's a big change in how you look and feel about your hair and appearance. So, it's pretty scary to think about doing. Especially since I haven't had short hair in a very long time, and my young trauma still haunts me a little bit. I'm not worried about being mistaken for a boy anymore, just worried about how different it will look, if it will work for my face, how I will make it work, how it won't be a big annoying poof of a mess. I'm not really sure yet, but I would only do this after the wedding, and I'll talk to the lady who is going to do my hair for the wedding about the possibilities and styling options. Not everyone does the big chop, but having two very different textures and types of hair gets weird, and it tangles much easier with the dry, straight hair in the way. My curls underneath the top layer are really quite defined and pretty, and a good few inches long at least. The cut wouldn't be too short, but still, short enough to potentially freak out!

I found a couple blogs (here and here) and a couple tumblr pages that have inspired me to seriously consider this drastic change, and to believe that natural hair could work for me. It's still scary, though, but I feel like the time would be right for such a change, and really, what I have going on on my head isn't really doing much for me either. Yikes. What do you think?

It would certainly be a while before my hair would look nearly as good as any of these ladies, or for me to be comfortable with it being so...big...but one day, maybe...

images via here and here

Hair Issues

I've been a bit upset and sad lately. There is some fancy Army ball coming up in February and I'll have to look nice for it. There is also that little gathering you may have heard me mention once or twice before coming up in June. And I definitely have to look nice for that (I am afraid of ruining all the pictures). I would also like to look nice day to day, if that's not asking too much (also why there's never any pictures of me up here). But I'm pretty sure I can't ever really look nice because my hair never looks nice. It always looks bad. Cute shoes and a cute outfit don't make your hair look nice. And so this has made me upset and sad that I can never look good. I considered giving up and straightening it again, but I really don't want to do that. I feel better today, but you know how it goes.

Hopefully, soon my products from Curls will arrive, and I'm hoping they help! The pictures and stories on their facebook page seem encouraging...

And if that doesn't work, I can always go with the motorcycle rider look...

:)

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Hair Update

It has been a while since I posted about starting to let my hair go curly/natural, so I thought I should update. I don't make a habit of taking pictures of myself, so here's a couple Kyle snapped of me Christmas morning trying on my new raincoat while my hair was still drying (I do not wear it down! and Kyle does not normally take pictures).

My feelings on my hair vary from day to day, mostly. I like that it is curly. But I haven't found a way for it to be curly and NOT a tangled, dry mess. I condition daily and usually leave in a little conditioner too, which keeps the frizz down a little. Maybe once a week I use Miss Jessie's, which cuts down on the frizz and allows the curls to keep their shape more defined (due to lack of frizz), but I am still not too fond of having goop in my hair too frequently (hence the once a week or so use).

I guess what I have to decide is what I want to do with my hair, eventually. I don't really like most black hair styles I've seen, and I think most wouldn't suit me well or feel comfortable with. I don't want it really big and I don't want it short. There seem to be two schools of thought when it comes to first attempting going natural. You could either cut the straightened hair right away, or gradually grow your hair out while gradually cutting the straight hair. I definitely wasn't going to cut it down to the new growth right away, though I did cut a couple inches off a month or two ago (but I do that every once in a while anyway). At this length, when it is dry and down, it forms something of a semicircle about my head; poofy and uncontrollable and not an attractive look. It will take some time to grow out more curly length so I will have to see how it turns out once the curls grow out a bit more. There are a lot of tight little curls, and bigger, looser curls giving way to wavy hair to straightened hair. In general: it is very curly, very thick, and I still don't know what to do with it. Kyle said he likes it, but he also kissed me when I was sick and gross, so I don't know if my husband is the best non-biased judge (but I appreciate his support none the less). I might try some products from Curls next, and invest in a different brush/comb that doesn't just pull my hair out (is there such a thing?!).

I also have to figure out what to do with my hair for the wedding. Yikes. Wedding. I think I will have to go to a hair place and have them do things to it and we can see what works (when and where this can happen, I do not know). When I was trying on dresses we came up with an idea I like, but how it would work and hold up for hours would need to be figured out, especially since my hair could be quite different come June. Most of the pictures I see of wedding styles are white ladies with perfect straight hair or even perfect curled hair, so I have no idea if anything I've seen and like will work on me. The hair adventure continues...

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Black and/or White, Straight and/or Curly : My Hair Story

age four

When I was in sixth grade we had a little lesson one afternoon on CPR, taught by some outside organization. All of us kids were seated in a semicircle on the ground watching and answering questions. I was a pretty shy kid but I raised my hand and answered a question. I only remember this event and that I answered correctly because a little bit later the instructor referenced back to my answer saying something along the lines of "He got it right!"

Yep.

And since then I have not had short hair.

My hair has been a struggle for me as long as I can remember really caring about what it looked like. I am aware that on the long list of struggles people face, hair is among the least important, just above breaking a nail and which of the many flavors ice cream to choose when you've made it to the front of the line, but apparently hair is an especially big deal in the African American culture (a culture that as a half black lady and anthropology student I should probably understand more). I didn't grow up with much guidance in the ways of black hair (my own fault for not seeking it), so I would just straighten it. Straightening (or relaxing) involves a horrible white goop being spread all over your hair, to chemically straighten the new curly hair. And it burns, oh it burns. Your scalp feels as if it is on fire. You know it is ready to wash out right before the burning becomes completely unbearable. And then when it is being rinsed out and you think you will get relief, the water feels like a million little needles being poked into your head. I am not exaggerating. It is all a legal form a torture, I am sure. But I have been doing it for years. A single treatment usually costs about $90, though you can buy do-it-yourself kits for under $10; they do the trick, you just don't get quite same quality result.

My straightening habits have also been reinforced by the fact that the only time anyone would say anything (positive) about my hair was right after it had been straightened (they also always think I just got it cut; a trim does not completely change the texture, volume, shine, and type of hair you have). People also suggest I style my hair like my sister, but for the last time, people, we don't have the same hair; it doesn't work that way. My curls are tighter and smaller, with a very dry, frizzy texture. I also dislike when people ask why I don't wear it down, or suggest that I should. Because it looks really bad, that's why; do you really think I like having it the same every single day, that I haven't considered wearing it down? I dislike my hair a lot of the time. I've never really known what to do with it. I don't want to spend a lot of money or time getting it taken care of every couple weeks. I definitely do not want fake hair on my head. No thank you. I really do like my hair when it is curly, which is important to remember, I just wish it wasn't so frizzy, thick and poofy. I have 4 or 5 different conditioners in my shower this very moment; every once in a while I try a new conditioner or two to try and find one that will last and work the best. TRESemme is quite good and I have been using it for years, so I always have that. Unfortunately my hair usually feels its best when it is wet, and let's just not even talk about brushing it right now. I have good hair days and bad hair days like anyone (yesterday was a good day), and I think at one point or another we all want hair that we don't have. I am jealous of people who can style it in more than one way, wear it down, toss it around, not condition it every day, do things with it, have friends that can relate to their hair issues, go to any hair salon...

My husband, my wonderful husband, is as white as white can be (though looks may be deceiving and truthfully I am not far off). Sometimes I whine about my hair and get sad and upset about it, and he comforts me and google searches for solutions and information for me, from Iraq. What a guy, right? He also tells me I am pretty and that my crazy hair isn't as crazy as I think it is.

I have recently decided to stop straightening my hair, to go natural as they say. This decision has been brewing for years. I've wanted to do it, but right around the second or third month mark after a good scalp burning, my hair gets too frizzy and an annoying combination of curly/straight, and I take the easy route and straighten it again. But, I have made it past that, and I'm starting to figure things out, very little by little. I have learned that this transition phase is a whole process, complete with instructions, products, and support groups. I have learned that I have things to learn, that my hair just won't sort itself out, I will have to experiment and help it along. I do not want to spend too much time or money in doing so, but I did order some curl-specific products to try out. I have used them twice; I'm not sure what I think so far. The leave-in curly pudding smells good,  but I dislike my hair feeling like it has goop in it all day.

So starts my hair adventure. I will keep you updated. Aside from figuring out the occasional mess atop my own head, I hope to learn some tricks and tips so that I can help and guide our future children- being 3/4 white and 1/4 black (and 100% awesome), and considering my siblings and I all have quite different hair, who knows what sort of hair dilemmas they will face. 

- From the desk of Mrs. M

Hair Question

Question ladies,

Doesn't wearing your hair down mess with your peripheral vision? I don't mean having your hair covering your eyes or face with bangs or odd style choices. I mean just by having it down at the side of your face. I was trying to get things done while letting my hair dry today and I realized why having it down is so annoying to me. I felt like I couldn't do anything with it down because I couldn't see anything and it just gets everywhere.  It was like I had blinders on. Is it just because my hair is thick and poofy and I'm not used to having it down? Bobby pins and tucking behind the ear are not satisfactory explanations. How does it work?!? Please respond.

Sincerely,

Confused and Hair Challenged in State College

picture is unrelated but I like it