Wedding planning can be stressful, and the stress can make you doubt and wonder what you think you're doing.
But then I get another RSVP in the mail with "happily yes" circled. I get a sweet note of excitement from a guest, a friend I haven't seen in too long. I get messages from a dear friend taking a long long bus ride in from Boston, asking me about times and locations around town. I wake up to a facebook notification that my friend who I haven't seen for five years is making the trip out from Australia. And then again, with a friend from Germany. Family that I haven't seen in years is coming down from Canada. I get a sweet package in the mail with a note from one of my bridesmaids. And these sorts of things keep happening again and again.
People are so excited about this.
To me, a marriage is about more than the wedding. It's about more than just the day that it becomes official, more than the day you spend celebrating it with others. The logistics of the day and the technicalities of the celebration- they are not what a marriage is about, and they should be whatever you want them to be. Whether you wear a white dress or ivory, cut a cake or a pie, walk down an aisle or dance down it, get together in a backyard or a ballroom, or do none of these things at all. March 7th will always be our anniversary, the day we got married. June 15th is the day we get to celebrate it, with our people around us. It's not so serious. It's just fun. It's a party. I get to wear a pretty dress and stand next to my husband wearing a dashing tux. We get to eat cake and tasty food, dance, drink, get our pictures taken finally and listen to songs like Bootylicious and Beyond the Sea, maybe even played back to back (who knows! it's crazy!)! It's stressful because you want to make sure a big group of people are well fed and entertained for several hours, yes, but the meaning behind it is the simplest thing.
I am uncomfortable celebrating me, even me as a part of a duo. It took a long time to get to the point where I realized and stood my ground that this celebration was for us and about us, Kyle and I. While I know and love that this party is about us, it helps me work through my discomfort, that I can still try to make it the best party for all of you as well. For those that have supported us, supported this wedding, sent us positivity and encouragement, helped me in the planning process. However it comes together in the next month, I know that I've been doing it right, because you will be there. And we'll be celebrating. There's no wrong way to do that.