Posted on: Monday, December 30, 2013
This year I...
I learned that every month, every day can be a struggle for me. Happiness, real, genuine, internally-driven happiness, has not come naturally to me for many years now, and I struggle to find and cultivate it. Some days are better than others of course, some days are very dark. On average, on a scale of 1 :( to 10 :) I'd say I'm a 4.
I learned that there is so much that we think but do not say. I voice probably 30 to 40 percent of my thoughts and feelings, even to the people I am closest to. We are like icebergs, aren't we. I think this is probably both good and bad, and what makes social work so difficult sometimes.
I learned a lot about hunger in America, and policy, and community organizing, and federal benefits, and social work. I became comfortable leading groups and holding individual therapy sessions with kiddos and adults at the mental health hospital I worked at. I attended a couple conferences and I still love to learn.
I learned what it takes to start to love a place- a town, a city, a state, a region. This summer gave me the perfect opportunity for this. I finally had some time to get to know Waco a bit, and when you learn a place though exploring its faults and challenges and thinking of ways to improve upon them, the love comes so readily and unexpectedly. It also helps when you get to a point where you don't need a GPS to drive anywhere/everywhere.
I learned that friendship can be found in unexpected places from unexpected persons. And it doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
I learned that it is much easier to act on caring for others than yourself.
I remembered that I need the outdoor air.
I decided to be tougher. I found being warm to be both the easiest thing and the most difficult thing at times.
I got to lead often.
I learned that to believe what others tell me about myself, I have to first believe it for myself.
I learned that I need more people in my life than only my husband (and that's OK).
I realized that Snapchat is actually awesome and not stupid and pointless like I thought when I was first introduced to it.
I learned (in theory) how to kill a chicken from my Kenyan friend.
I got to take trips to Boston (twice) and DC and remembered how much I love travel and that I should try to do more of it. Also my love and appreciation for metro systems in big cities was solidified.
I drove many many miles.
I learned that not all small dogs are yippy and annoying.
I still have issues with my hair.