This year I...
I learned that every month, every day can be a struggle for me. Happiness, real, genuine, internally-driven happiness, has not come naturally to me for many years now, and I struggle to find and cultivate it. Some days are better than others of course, some days are very dark. On average, on a scale of 1 :( to 10 :) I'd say I'm a 4.
I learned that there is so much that we think but do not say. I voice probably 30 to 40 percent of my thoughts and feelings, even to the people I am closest to. We are like icebergs, aren't we. I think this is probably both good and bad, and what makes social work so difficult sometimes.
I learned a lot about hunger in America, and policy, and community organizing, and federal benefits, and social work. I became comfortable leading groups and holding individual therapy sessions with kiddos and adults at the mental health hospital I worked at. I attended a couple conferences and I still love to learn.
I learned what it takes to start to love a place- a town, a city, a state, a region. This summer gave me the perfect opportunity for this. I finally had some time to get to know Waco a bit, and when you learn a place though exploring its faults and challenges and thinking of ways to improve upon them, the love comes so readily and unexpectedly. It also helps when you get to a point where you don't need a GPS to drive anywhere/everywhere.
I learned that friendship can be found in unexpected places from unexpected persons. And it doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
I learned that it is much easier to act on caring for others than yourself.
I remembered that I need the outdoor air.
I decided to be tougher. I found being warm to be both the easiest thing and the most difficult thing at times.
I got to lead often.
I learned that to believe what others tell me about myself, I have to first believe it for myself.
I learned that I need more people in my life than only my husband (and that's OK).
I realized that Snapchat is actually awesome and not stupid and pointless like I thought when I was first introduced to it.
I learned (in theory) how to kill a chicken from my Kenyan friend.
I got to take trips to Boston (twice) and DC and remembered how much I love travel and that I should try to do more of it. Also my love and appreciation for metro systems in big cities was solidified.
I drove many many miles.
I learned that not all small dogs are yippy and annoying.
I still have issues with my hair.
- S
So, I'm quite enjoying winter break so far! The end of the semester was oddly anti-climactic and just kind of faded out, so it took a while for everything to be wrapped up and done for good. But it has been over a week now since I didn't have finals, and it has been nice being able to relax and not commute every day or wake up to 21 class-related emails. I've been hanging with the pup, watching a lot of Netflix, going on walks, getting ready for Christmas, hanging out with the husband, lunches with friends, and working on a couple things. We're not traveling or anything for the holidays, so a central Texas Christmas it is! School starts January 6th (this semester is 32-35 hours a week at internship, with internship seminar and research seminar classes, and then internship ends on April 18th and we just have our colloquium class and prepping for that presentation) and graduation May 16/17! It's a rainy, stormy day, so maybe I will work on filling in my 2014 planner (always a much looked-forward to task at the end of every year). Happy Solstice! :)
